To everything they hoped:
Monday, August 25
Theme: Done Nation
2:00 PM
"Hoisting United Nations Flag"
San Francisco Persons of Color Color Guard
2:10 PM
"Pledge of Allegiance (to the UN Flag)"
Jim McDermott
2:20 PM
"Invocation: God D*** America"
The Reverend Jeremiah Wright
2:30 PM
"Welcome Citizens of the World"
Howard Dean
2:45 PM
"Song: Kumbayah, My Gaia, Kumbayah"
Chicago Carbon-Neutral Chorus
2:55 PM
"Unveiling of the Convention's Official Windmill"
Anonymous Democrat Congressional Aide
3:00 PM
"Oil Literally Makes Me Sick"
Harry Reid
4:30 PM
"Our McCain Bills"
Russ Feingold, Ted Kennedy, Chuck Schumer, etc., etc.
6:45 PM
Organic Dinner
Kentucky Fricasseed Chicken, Flambé Green Tomatoes, French Boils
8:00 PM
"I Feel It Is Peace for Our Time"
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
9:00 PM
"Nationalize Everything Now!"
Maxine Waters
10:00 PM
"What Would Lenin Do?"
(Never mind. That was answered by the last speaker.)
Tuesday, August 26
Theme: Reneging America's Promise
3:00 PM
"Full Public Release of All My Military Records"
John Kerry
Canceled (again)
3:00 PM
"Future of Personal Transportation"
DNC Bicyclists Club
4:00 PM
"I Support Bombing Our Troops"
Bill Ayers
4:59:48 PM
"Sanctity of Marriage (long version)"
John Edwards
5:00 PM
"We're All Going To Die Tomorrow!1!!`@!"
Al Gore
6:00 PM
"Where No Congress Has Gone Before (aka Single Digits)"
Nancy Pelosi
6:45 PM
Very Organic Dinner
Blue Plate Surprise
(Hint: Just keep stabbing whatever's on it with your fork until everything stops squirming.)
8:00 PM
"You Knit T-shirts"
Hillary Rodham Clinton
9:00 PM
"Ask Not What Your Country Can Do for You; I Have A Dream; The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself; Etc."
Joe Biden
10:00 PM
"Tribute to Women in the Professions (Especially the Oldest)"
Eliot Spitzer
Wednesday, August 27
Theme: The More Government the Better
3:30 PM
"If It Feels Good, Do It (and Demand that Government Pay for It!)"
Party Platform Committee
4:00 PM
"Magic Show"
Alternative-Energy Policy Committee
4:30 PM
"America Is Eviler Than..."
Foreign Policy Committee
6:45 PM
(Dinner postponed due to Foreign Policy Committee still presenting its report)
7:30 PM
All-Local Organic Dinner
South Platte River-Netted Catfish, Mile High-Harvested Turnip Greens, Rocky Mountain-Raised Raisins, Denver-Broiled Doughnuts
8:30 PM
"Tanks for Everything, Barry"
Liberal Mainstream Media (but I repeat myself)
9:00 PM
"Kiss My Address"
Bill Clinton
10:00 PM
"Condom Demonstration"
Bill Clinton's Interns
Thursday, August 28
Theme: Abandon, Ye Who Enter Here, All...
4:00 PM
"Food or Fuel, That's Your Choice"
Big Farm
5:00 PM
"Shot-Down Fighter-Plane Riders Are Like Sooooo Unprepared and Stuff"
General Wesley Clark (retired retard)
6:45 PM
Miracle Organic Dinner
BHO Plate Special
(Five loaves of bread and two fish serving 5,000, with walked-on water turned into wine)
8:00 PM
"Gettin' Crowded Under Here"
Former Campaign-Bus Riders
9:00 PM
"Acceptance Speech: Hope, Change, and... Uh, Err, Uh— Hey! Who Unplugged My Teleprompter?"
Barack Obama
11:45 PM
"Benediction: There's A Whole Lotta White People Crying Now!"
Father Michael Pfleger
Comments (registered users)
Cite: (suggested codes) Hat Tip: h/t Liberal Utopia Full: Libsareb Raindead, "Demoqrats' Convention Schedule Has Been Changed," Liberal Utopia, August 25, 2008.
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